You’ve sent the proposal. Then comes silence.

A week passes. You call. No answer. You leave a message. You follow up with a professional email. Still nothing. It happens to all of us, and it happened to me this past month.

But not anymore.

Over the past week, I picked up a simple phrase from Chris Voss of The Black Swan Group that I’ve already started using in my own follow-up process, and the results were immediate.

I want to share with you the five words that changed how I follow up with prospects who go quiet.

Before I do, let me tell you why I pay attention whenever Chris Voss is interviewed.

He’s a former FBI hostage and kidnapping negotiator, and before he became a bestselling author and negotiation trainer, he spent years in situations where the right words at the right time truly mattered.

What he teaches is practical, memorable, and immediately usable in business, sales, and just about any relationship.

The podcast is titled Chris Voss on The Art of Control, Tactical Empathy, & How to Win Any Negotiation (02:17:20).

The one line from that interview that stood out immediately: “Have you given up on…?”

It’s simple, direct, and surprisingly effective when a proposal has gone quiet, and you need to know whether the project is still alive.

In that interview, Chris shared eight phrases, and this was the first one. I didn’t even wait to finish the full program. I stopped, used the line with a prospect who had gone silent for a month, and got a response in exactly 10 minutes.

The next time you're ghosted, use the phrase: “Have you given up on…?”

That’s it. No explanation. No padding. No “just checking in.” Just a clean, direct question.

At first glance, it feels almost too blunt to use—especially in a profession like residential design where relationships matter, and we tend to lean toward being accommodating.

But the psychology behind it is what makes it so effective.

First, it invites a “no.” And that’s important. People feel safe saying no. It doesn’t trap them, obligate them, or push them into a corner. In fact, it gives them a sense of control. Ironically, that sense of safety often opens the door to engagement.

Second, it subtly introduces the idea of loss. No one likes the feeling of “giving up” on something—especially something they’ve already invested time, thought, or emotion into, like a future home or remodel.

That small nudge is often enough to bring your project back to the top of their mind.

And third, it cuts through the noise. Your clients—just like you—are juggling dozens of priorities. When a proposal goes quiet, it’s not always rejection; more often, it’s simply buried. This question resurfaces the conversation in a way that demands a decision, even if that decision is “no.”

So how can you apply this in your design practice?

If you’ve sent a proposal and haven’t heard back in a week or two, resist the urge to send a long, polite follow-up email. Instead, try this as your entire subject line—or your entire message:

“Have you given up on moving forward with your home design?”

Then stop. Don’t explain. Don’t justify. Let them respond.

From there, you’ll typically see one of three outcomes:

• They move forward immediately. It happens more often than you’d expect.
• They tell you they’ve moved on. That may sting, but it’s valuable—you’ve just saved yourself weeks of uncertainty.
• They re-engage but need reassurance. This is where your role shifts from selling to listening. Acknowledge their concerns, summarize what might be holding them back, and help them regain clarity about the path forward.

One important caveat:

This only works in context. It’s not an opening line for new prospects. It’s a re-engagement tool for conversations already in motion.

Used appropriately, it’s one of the cleanest ways I’ve found to replace “ghosting” with clarity.

In a profession where our time is one of our most valuable assets, anything that helps us quickly separate active opportunities from inactive ones is worth adopting.